According to Psychology Today, the term is metaphorically borrowed from the behavior of seagulls—birds that often abruptly "swoop in," start "dealing with food," and then fly away just as quickly. This motif translates into the context of human relationships as well.
As defined by psychological portals, "seagulling" in romantic relationships refers to a situation where one person has no genuine romantic interest in the other but simultaneously doesn't let them go and prevents them from developing a relationship with someone else.
A person may continue to go out, flirt, or maintain contact solely to retain control, attention, or status, without any real investment in the relationship.
Such behavior can include giving occasional signals of interest or symbolic gestures that confuse the other person and make it difficult for them to move on.
Experts emphasize that this kind of behavior is rarely healthy, as it leads to emotional insecurity, wasted time, and frustration. Promoting open communication and clearly setting boundaries can help recognize and avoid such patterns.
Although the term is increasingly mentioned on social media, its meaning remains largely informal and serves as a warning about behaviors that can be toxic or manipulative in the early stages of a relationship.