The position you hold in the family can influence self-confidence and relationships, but it does not determine your life. Is the eldest child more responsible, the middle one calmer, or the youngest more free-spirited? Many people grow up believing that their birth order among siblings says something about their character, affecting their self-esteem and relationships with others. However, Catherine Carr, author of a book on the complex dynamics between siblings, emphasizes that birth order may shape identity but does not fully define it.
"The dynamics between siblings are almost infinitely complex," Carr tells Newsweek. "The first child will always be the first and often feels they lose attention with the arrival of others. Meanwhile, the youngest always remains the last and never experiences the same 'dethronement.' This makes the topic very interesting to analyze."
When it comes to birth order, Carr stresses that it is not predetermined fate. Much of what we know about this topic comes from Austrian psychotherapist Alfred Adler, who believed that:
Although these ideas are widespread, they are insufficient to explain the actual development of children, even though they hold a grain of truth.
"It matters how much of our lives we spend in the same environment and what factors are at play," explains Carr.
A significant age gap, for example, means the youngest child is raised by more tired parents, with fewer or sometimes more resources than at the beginning. In other words, each child grows up in a different reality. Equally important is the theory of differentiation, developed by psychologist Frances Fuchs Schachter. According to this theory, children create distinct identities to avoid competition and feel unique. If one child is more focused on academics, another might lean toward creativity or humor. Over time, these roles become part of their relationships with each other and their parents.